It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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