Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
