i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
