and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
