That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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