He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize