Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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