That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
