Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
