Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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