how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
