happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
