i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Everything about him screamed your future.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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