I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Randomize
