theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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