Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
