i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I will pee on everything he values.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize