so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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