FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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