somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize