dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
