Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Farmville is her only friend.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
