it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
