Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
