I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
