GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
