he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
