Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
