My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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