I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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