Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
