Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
