Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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