we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
