I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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