So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
