I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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