I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
