I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
