Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
