Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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