i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
