I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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