How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
