Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
