So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
