Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
