you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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