Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The feeling are messing with the penis
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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