dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
