don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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