my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
