i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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