Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
