i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
