This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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