Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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