I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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