Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
