i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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