I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
