I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
