does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
