I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
