shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
